And You Are My Pain
by hiially
Summary: Jade's hurting. Tori's evading any kind of solid answers about what they could be.
1. We All Have a Hell

If there's one thing that irritates me more than anything else, it's the fact that everyone assumes that Tori Vega is so fucking perfect. She isn't. Let me get one thing out in the open before I continue: this isn't just a giant bash on Vega. It's something much more than that. This is me exposing her secret to the world. She isn't as innocent as she appears to be.

I found this out a while ago. We were all hanging out at her place watching movies and hanging out. Slowly everyone starting to leave once the movie we were watching was over, the night running out. When it was just Cat, Vega, and myself left, Vega pulled out a bottle of wine and we wound up sitting around drinking and talking. And by talking, I mean I sat back and drank while Cat and Vega gushed about stupid shit that I could really care less about. The only time I spoke was to offer a sarcastic comment or ridicule Vega for something stupid that she said. Cat passed out very quickly. I wasn't surprised about that. What surprised me was the way a tan hand was creeping its way up my neck as Vega and I sat on her couch, watching crappy late night TV.

"What do you think you're doing, Vega?" I asked, my body going rigid as her cold fingers crept closer up the back of my neck.

"Hm? Nothing." She said innocently, and soon her other hand joined in the journey to pull my face to hers.

"This seems like a lot more than nothing." I said, my voice husky as I felt her breath hot on my mouth.

"Maybe." She whispered before kissing me roughly. Holy Hell, was she a good kisser. That, again, was unexpected. My body reacted on its own, kissing her back with equal fervor as I pushed her backwards onto the couch so I was on top of her. Our lips moved languidly together for a long while before one of us pulled away, breathing heavy as we looked at each other through hooded lids.

"Fuck." I said, trying to regain control of my breathing.

"Something like that." Vega replied, her hands still tangled in my hair.

We had sex for the first time that night. It was clumsy and awkward. The fact that we were two people unaccustomed to those actions left us fumbling over the other's body until we finally understood what made the other tick. And then it was like an insatiable urge had been ignited inside of us. Another unexpected event.

The morning after was uncomfortable, but nothing we couldn't handle. That night was never spoken of again, though it happened a few more times. Well, maybe more than a few.

Suddenly, I found myself spending my weekends at the Vega house, eating pizza and watching movies with the girl I swore I hated. We talked, laughed, and when the lights were out we would kiss. No questions were asked about the kind of label what we were doing should have. Nothing like that at all. We were just friends, which I was still reluctant to admit. Yeah, friends. Friends that kiss and have sex but act like there's nothing going on as soon as someone else enters the room. That's normal, right?

One night we were in her room, watching some lame rom com she picked out. I sat on her bed painting my nails as she laid on her stomach, watching the movie intently.

"So, do you like me or something?" I asked, hoping my voice conveyed the disinterest that I certainly wasn't experiencing.

She looked back at me with a smile, "Of course I do."

"Like, in a dating way?" I asked, picking at the paint I managed to get on my skin.

"I would date you." She said simply, and I sensed a little bit of discomfort in her voice.

"You would? What, is there something holding you back?" I allowed a little bit of curiosity ebb my words, along with a little bite.

She let out a sigh as she rolled onto her back, "I don't trust myself." She said softly.

"You what?" I asked incredulously.

"I always hurt everyone I care about. Especially when I'm in a relationship." She admitted, avoiding looking at me at all costs.

"I'm curious to hear this explained, considering all of the relationships I've witnessed were guys treating you like this." I said, growing irritated with her.

Vega stayed silent for a long minute as I watched her mull over in her mind what she was planning on saying to me, "I just don't think it would be worth it to ruin what we have right now. I mean..."

"Are you happy?" I asked, cutting her off.

She gave me a sad smile, "I haven't been happy in a while. But when I'm with you, yeah. I feel lighter. Things feel better."

"So why wouldn't you want to make that something permanent?" I asked, my voice holding a little insistence as I spoke.

"Nothing is permanent, Jade. I figured you of all people would understand that after everything you went through with Beck." I winced slightly at the mention of my recent ex-boyfriend. I suppose she had a point there.

I let the conversation go at that point, and she rolled back onto her stomach and watched the movie as I studied her disposition. She hurts people? All I've ever seen has been the other way around. Then again, maybe there was more to Tori Vega than I knew. I guess that was always an option.

After that night, things weren't exactly awkward, but they definitely were different. We were still friends. We talked lightly at school, still uneasy about the way our friends were reacting to our budding relationship. They always appraised us slightly uncertain about what they were seeing. I'm assuming they were just on edge, preparing to have to jump to Vega's aid in case anything happened. Little did they know it was clearly the other way around.

The sex stopped after that night, but the tension remained thick between us. Glances were slowly passed to the other when we were with our friends. The slightest contact that our skin would make was enough to set my body ablaze. We still hung out alone, but the frequency dropped dramatically. She would often insist that we invite Cat, giving me the excuse that she feared Cat would think we were trying to push her away. I would always agree to allowing Cat to tag along, primarily for the sake of getting to spend time with Vega in any way that I could.

Months of sexual frustration and awkward tension was building between the two of us until one Friday I couldn't take it anymore. We were at school, in the hallway waiting for classes to begin. I was at my locker and I watched as Vega strutted into the building.

"Vega." I called out to her. Her dignified stride to her locker was halted as she turned and looked at me with a smile.

"Yeah?" She asked when she was standing close enough for me to smell her perfume.

"Come over tonight?" I asked in a partial-question, partial-order manner.

"Okay." Vega agreed easily with a shrug and a grin, "What do you wanna do?"

"I got a bottle of wine." I said casually.

"We should make a video." Vega said cheerily.

I eyes her suspiciously, "Of what?"

She shrugged, a mischievous look in her eyes, "Anything. Us talking or something. I just think it'd be funny."

I nodded, "Okay. So it's settled."

She gave me a wink, "I'll see you then."

I did my best to ignore the way my heart was currently fluttering in my chest for the rest of the day. When it was finally time to go home, I practically ran out of the building and to my car. I rushed frantically around my room while I waiting for Vega to come over. I had a few hours, so to calm my nerves I took a nice long, hot shower and cleaned my room. It did the trick, for the most part.

When Vega finally arrived, we sat on my bed and talked for a while before I decided to bring out the wine.

"Remember the first time we ever drank together?" She said with a giggle as I poured her a glass.

A blush spread across my cheeks, "Kind of hard to forget." We looked at each other for a moment before we each took deep drinks from the glasses in our hands. She changed the subject to something Cat had told her earlier in the day, but I found it hard to concentrate as I looked at how beautiful she was. I had fallen for Tori Vega a long time ago, though I would never admit it to her. Not when I was sober at least.

As time went on, we found ourselves down to the end of the bottle. Her face was flushed as she chuckled, pouring the remnants of the bottle into her glass, "All gone!"

"I've got two more bottles downstairs." I said with a laugh as I pulled out my laptop.

"Oh! I forgot about the video!" Vega said excitedly.

"Yeah, what is it even going to be about?" I asked as I set up the camera.

"Let's answer weird questions." Vega suggested.

"Like icebreakers?" I asked skeptically. Vega clapped her hands together and nodded.

So we pulled up a website of icebreaker questions and I hit record on my laptop. The first few were incredibly lame. Like what would you do if you only had twenty four hours to live, would you tell someone if their underwear was showing, and if you could have any super power what would it be. I had gone and grabbed a new bottle somewhere in between those questions and felt myself feeling warm and bubbly as we moved on to the next question.

I looked at her as she answered whatever it was, and I cut her off mid-sentence, "You're eyes are like this coppery color." I said.

She smiled, "I know. Your eyes look really green right now." She said, her voice growing soft.

"Really? Like a good green?" I asked, at this point completely ignoring the fact that a camera was recording every word.

"A great green. They're really pretty." She said, smirking slightly. The conversation died and we were left with our faces only inches apart, looking the other dead in the eye. For a moment, I saw her eyes glance down to my lips and I cleared my throat.

"Next question." I said before looking away from her and back to the screen. She nodded and I watched on the monitor as she ran a hand through her hair, visibly flustered by what had just happened. Or by what had almost happened.

A few more questions were answered as we laughed loudly at each other's answers, our bodies coming together like magnets whenever a fit of giggles would break out.

"Pause it." Vega demanded as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked, ignoring her request.

"Bathroom. Pause it." She stated again. I complied this time and watched as she flounced out of the room. You know, I was an idiot for inviting her over. I was just finally starting to get over this infatuation that I had with her. Well, it was more than an infatuation. Much more. She melted my heart of ice and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Except try to change her mind. She came back into the room and jumped onto the bed, bouncing into me slightly and laughing.

"You know what cracks me up?" She asked, sitting up straight and looking at me.

"What's that?" I asked as I sipped my wine.

"How often Andre asks if we're sleeping together."

"He what?" I asked in disbelief.

"Oh yeah, he always used to ask whenever we'd hang out if there was something else going on." She said nodding.

"What would make him ask that?" I said, confusing and panic melding together. It wasn't as though I had something to hide. I just always thought we were subtle about the things we did that couldn't constitute as simple friendship.

Vega shrugged casually, "It's probably all of the sexual tension." She said as she tugged on a lock of my hair playfully. Her hand fell on my thigh as we looked at each other, clearly trying to gauge how the other was feeling. I ignored any kind of hesitance she was expressing as I leaned forward and cupped her face, kissing her roughly and pushing her back onto the bed. My leg ground in between hers and her hands were knotted in my hair as she held me close to her. We were lost in the clashing of teeth against lips and I realized how long it had been since this had happened. My heart began to flutter at the thought of her letting this happen again. I moved my mouth down to her neck and nipped at her pulse point. She pushed me away at that point.

"God, Jade. Don't give me a hickey." She said, her hands holding my shoulders.

"Relax, Vega. I wouldn't." I reassured her as I leaned back down, biting again. I reveled in the gasp and sigh she let out, as she dropped her head back, granting me more access to her throat. I took it greedily as my hands ghosted down her sides and back up, gently palming her breasts. She moaned and her hands clung to my hips in desperation as I felt her leg come up roughly in between mine.

"Fuck." I said into her neck. It was like at that moment we realized what we were doing as we sprang apart from each other. We looked at the other, with heaving chests and hooded lids.

"We probably shouldn't." Vega said softly.

"You're right." I said, nodding as we both took our places back on the bed. I put in a movie, deciding that those icebreaker questions weren't enough to keep our attention off of the other. So I put in The Da Vinci Code. When I went to sit down next to her, with our backs against the headboard of my bed, I found myself putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to me. Her hand instantly found my other hand and our fingers laces together.

"It's weird." I said in a soft voice as the movie began.

"What?"

"How...right this feels." I said, regretting it instantly afterwards.

She said nothing, and inwardly I was cursing myself for thinking that was a good idea. Until I felt her nodding and I looked at her to see the small smile gracing those perfect lips, "It does feel right." She agreed. I leaned forward slightly, placing a gently kiss on her cheek.

We watched the movie in silence for a while, but I realized that I couldn't keep her off my mind long enough to focus on any kind of plot. The only things running through my mind had been her lips, her hands, her hair. I looked at her as she watched the TV.

"Do you still like me like you did back then?" I asked, again wondering why I was allowing so much vulnerability in one night.

She was quiet for a moment and worry brewed in my gut as I wished I hadn't said anything at all, "Yeah. I really do." She answered in a whisper. I removed my one hand from hers and tucked my fingers under her chin, pulling her into a kiss. A kiss that was so gentle, I had no idea where it came from. I had no idea I was capable of something like that. Everything that was ever between us was rough and quick. This was slow and soft.

"We should go to bed." I said when we pulled away. She bit her lip and nodded. I got up and as she climbed under the covers, I walked out of my room and checked my house to make sure everything was locked up and secure. I got back into my room and saw Vega lying on my side of the bed.

"Scoot." I ordered, tapping her arm with my fingers.

"Oh, am I on your side?" She asked playfully.

"Yup." I said as I climbed into bed. Once I turned my nightside light off, I rolled onto my side, my arm sliding around her waist and pulling her into me. I don't know why I did it. I swear, my body has a mind of its own.

We laid there in silence for a moment, and suddenly I was compelled to unleash another confession.

"I hate that I still have these feelings for you." I whispered, my face hidden in her hair.

"Why?" She asked, humor evident in her voice, which frustrated me endlessly.

"It does nothing but hurt." I said softly.

"You aren't the only one." She replied.

"It feels like it." I said, growing irritated with her as I tried to move away and sleep on my other side with my back to her. The moment I tried to remove my arm, she held onto it tightly and pulled me closer.

"I promise you aren't."

"Prove it."

**Meh. Wanted to try something out. Might stay as a one-shot. Maybe not. Feedback?**


	2. Occam's Razor

**Ask and ye shall receive. You guys wanted more, so here you go. :) Not sure how long it'll go for, but I had an idea so I ran with it. I feel like most of the time, Tori is shown to be weak and craving Jade's attention. Thought it'd be interesting to see if things were flipped. Until next time, friends!**

We awoke the next morning in the same position that we had fallen asleep in. My heart ached at the thought of how happy I could be if this was what I woke up to every morning. Alas, I realized just how naive I was to believe that anything like that could ever happen between the two of us.

It was early, and we had a few hours before we would be due to arrive at school. I thought about offering to make her breakfast or something equally as cheesey. I decided against it as she rolled away from me.

"I'm gonna get going." She said in a soft voice as she sat up on the other side of my bed.

"Sounds like a good idea." I said once I cleared my throat. I stayed in bed as she got her things together and walked out of my room. Yet again, I was back to square one. I couldn't figure out how we could have nights like the previous one, where I literally could not tell what the difference was between what we were doing and what couples do, just to get thrown back into this uncertainty. The pain was unreal.

I got ready slowly, thinking about what had happened last night. How amazing her lips felt against mine. How natural her body fit with mine. It felt right. It just seemed like this is what should be. I should be hers and she should be mine. So why wasn't it like that? Occam's Razor states that the simplest answer is the correct one. Well, us being together seemed like it should be simple. So why wasn't that the correct answer in this case?

My mind reeled with thoughts of Tori Vega as I drove to school that morning. My brain riddled with images of the previous night as I stood with our group of friends before classes began. When the bill rang and everyone began to dissipate to their respective places, I reached out for Vega's arm and she looked at me through pained eyes.

"Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?" I asked quietly in hopes of avoiding prying ears.

"Doing what?" Vega asked, casting a nervous glance around her surroundings.

"Hurting." I said, my voice cracking slightly.

She thought for a moment, "Look, I don't have all the answers right now."

I scoffed, "You don't have any answers."

"Exactly. So why would you want to be with someone who has no idea what they're doing, or what she even wants for that matter." Vega said, attempting to reason with me.

"Because that person does know what she wants, she's just too damn scared to admit it." I said desperately.

She shook her head, "You deserve better than me."

"But I don't want better than you." I said, holding her face in my hands now, not bothering to be discreet in the abandoned hallway. I kissed her soundly on the mouth, and to my surprise she kissed back with such passion I almost would have thought she meant it. We pulled away, slightly out of breath and looked at each other, "I should hate you." I whispered.

"I wish you did." She said before walking away, leaving me alone in the hallway.

I did my best for the rest of the day to act as cavalier as I could, despite the fact that my insides were pulling apart and destroying every ounce of sanity I ever possessed. I nearly killed a kid who ran into me as I walked into my study hall. He didn't stand a chance as he ran off into the bathroom. Christ, I think I might have made him wet himself.

Luckily for me, no one had really caught on to my strange behavior. Clearly, they had written it off as Jade just being Jade. I couldn't tell if I was thankful for the fact, or disappointed that my friends were just used to me being cold and distant. At lunch, I inwardly cringed as I listened to Vega talk about a date she was going on later that night. Jealousy did more than ebb at my insides as I thought about all of the things I would do for her if it were me taking her on dates. Though that remained unsaid. As did so many things.

Once school was over, I returned to my empty house and put on a Bright Eyes record and moped around for the evening. It was around eight o'clock when I heard my doorbell ring. Surprisingly, I was curious to see who was on the other side. It was Vega. Standing there with her hands deep in her jacket pocket and looking at me with a smirk that told me more than everything I needed to know. I ushered her silently into my house and she instantly removed her shoes and walked up stairs. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, knowing my mother wouldn't miss it when she finally decided to come home.

"So, how was your date?" I asked in a mocking manner as I closed the door with my foot once I walked into the threshold.

Vega rolled her eyes, "Lame. I don't even want to talk about it."

So we didn't. I poured us two glasses of wine and we sat in my bed watching TV until I felt my cheeks slowly heat up from the alcohol. Before I knew it, one bottle was gone and we were halfway through the second when I turned and looked at Vega.

"You know, if I took you on a date, it'd be one you'd be telling your friends about for the rest of your life." I said before really thinking.

Vega looked at me with a smile, "Really? Have you thought about that? Taking me on a date?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

She looked intrigued as she moved her body to face me, "What would you do?" She asked.

I could feel myself blushing and I slightly regretted telling her this. Then again, maybe there was a reason she'd want to know, "Well. I'd take you to some really fancy restaurant. Those places that make a salad sound complicated. I would hate it, but I know you'd love the romantic notion. I'd take you down to the beach afterwards. And we'd sit down by the water and I'd ask you about your past and what you thought your future would be. What you wanted it to be, at least. And after we'd sit there for what seemed like hours, I'd regretfully take you back to your house, walk you to your front door and kiss you goodnight." I said. Halfway through my description, I kind of lost myself. Lost the fact that I was actually talking to Vega about taking her on a stupid date. By the end of my monologue, I hadn't realized how close my face was to Vega's. The slightest movement would connect our lips in a kiss that I wasn't sure I could leave as something chaste.

Vega leaned in, brushing her lips against mine once before claiming them roughly, pushing me onto my back and climbing on top of me. Her leg ground in between my thighs and my hands knotted themselves in her hair. Her teeth tugged at my lower lip before they made their way down my neck, sucking on my pulse point. I made an attempt to stop her, though it was futile as she slid her hand down inside the front of my sweatpants.

"Fuck." I whispered as my back arched into her. I was always amazed at how dexterous her fingers were. Though my amazement subsided when my orgasm hit me like a tidal wave after what seemed like hours of her tedious, expert movements. She knew how to play me just the way she liked. I was left a heap of moans and heaving breaths while she pressed herself into me gently. I always felt a little cheap when I'd let her do this: fuck me fully clothed.

My irritation outweighed the pleasure that was still coursing through my body as I rolled over so I was on top of her. I tugged her blouse up over her head, tossing it haphazardly behind me as I slid my hands behind her back to undo her bra. The garment was disposed of off to the side of my bed and for a moment, I thought she was going to protest what I was about to do. She didn't, and instead gave me a challenging look and a raised brow as if to ask me what I was waiting for. I stripped myself of my own shirt and bra before leaning down and kissing her fully. She gasped at the feeling of skin on skin as our mouths moved languidly together. I doubted that I could ever get tired of this.

I slid my hand down to the clasp on her jeans and felt her sharp intake of breath. I pulled my lips away from hers and looked at her through hooded lids, "Do you want me to stop?"

She looked at me through dilated eyes, shaking her head sharply. I grinned and continued to remove her jeans and panties from her legs before doing the same to my own sweatpants. The quiet of the night was then filled with gasps of appreciation and moans that fueled the passion between us. And God, was there a lot of it.

When we were sated, exhausted, and too drunk off of wine and each other, we laid in my unkempt sheets, our bodies glistening with sweat as she draped her body over mine. My hands rested on her lower back as her breath tickled my neck.

"I wish it was me." I whispered.

"What?" I heard her mumble into my skin.

"I wish I was the one taking you out on dates. You'd never have to put up with a bad one ever again, and you'd be coming here for guilt-free sex instead of whatever this is."

"Jade." She said, and I felt her body start to move.

"Don't. Just leave it alone. I get it." I lied. I didn't get it. I didn't understand it at all. Why she gushed about this date at lunch only to come here after, complaining about how terrible it was and then fucking me like it was nothing. Like I was nothing.

Let's face it, I was nothing to her. I just wasn't strong enough to admit it and leave. She was always going to be apart of me. Whether I liked it or not. Her breathing evened out, and I figured she had fallen asleep. I felt my body relax at the thought of being able to hold her without having to worry about saying something stupid that would make her leave. I let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding and sunk deeper into my bed. She nuzzled into the crook of my neck and said something that made my heart clench and my blood freeze.

"I love you, Jade."


	3. My Broken, Beating Heart

I woke the next morning, my face buried in chocolate hair that most definitely didn't belong to me. My arm was tucked around a slender waist and thin fingers were tangled in mine. Her chest rose and fell softly as I debated whether or not to get up now, or wait for her. As if she could hear my thoughts, she suddenly roused and rolled over to me. She blinked and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Those eyes. Auburn and shining. Warm and soft. Damn, she was beautiful.

"Good morning." She said, her voice rough from a night of drinking.

"Yeah." I replied in a soft tone. We looked at each other for a moment longer, and suddenly I was bombarded with images of last night. Her lips. Her hands. Her skin. Fuck. We both cleared our throats and shook off the visible tension that had coated the room. I rolled out of bed and ran a hand through my hair as I thought about what my next action should be. I knew for certain that I couldn't be in this room for much longer. I stood and walked out of the room and into my bathroom. I looked at my reflection, noting the hickey gracing the crook of my neck. Soon her reflection occupied the space behind me and I looked up at her with cold eyes.

"I should get going." She said, pointing behind her. I nodded my head and we shared another tense glare.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out as she was about to turn to go. She paused and looked at me, curiosity ebbing her features.

"For what?"

"For kissing you." I said simply, hoping to convey the kind of distance I needed to protect myself.

"I'm not." She said simply, shrugging before she left.

I shook my head as I looked back at my reflection. I had just thrown myself back to square one. God dammit.

Well, you know. If I can't beat this crush. I might as well enjoy it.

So I got ready for school, regretting the fact that we got so drunk the night before. My head was pounding as I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car. I waltzed up to the front door with my sunglasses on and a coffee in my hand. Today was going to be rough to say the least. But I was going to work with it.

I got to my locker and dug out the things I needed, closing the door and gently as I could granted the headache I had. Looking over to Vega's locker, I saw her standing there talking to Cat. I strutted towards them, and when she saw me coming, I had to suppress the smirk threatening to ruin my facade as I watched her eyes trail up and down my body.

"What's up, losers?" I asked.

"Jade! We were just talking about you." Cat giggled excitedly.

"Oh, I hope it was Vega talking about how I'm such a good fu-"

"Fun loving friend." Vega said, cutting me off completely and casting me a warning glare. I looked at her with an innocent smirk as I shrugged.

"Jade hates fun." Cat said confused, as she passed a strange look to Vega and then me.

"I hate a lot of things. But I can tell you one thing I don't hate. The sound Vega makes when I make her cu-"

"Come out to go shopping like she did last night." Vega saved herself again, this time jabbing me in the ribs with her elbow.

Cat's confusion overtook her bubbly nature as she tried to piece together just what the hell I was playing at. Vega looked so nervous, I wouldn't have been able to control my laughter had this little spectacle not been the determining factor about whether or not I could execute this properly.

"Okay." Cat finally said, her airy voice getting drowned out by the bell. The entire hallway erupted as students made their way to their classes. As Vega tried to leave, my hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. We shared a terse glare until the majority of the hall had been cleared.

"I have to get something out of my locker." She said, her voice forced as Cat nodded simply and flounced off in the direction of her class. As Vega rummaged aimlessly in her locker for something she clearly didn't need, I took this as my opportunity to up the anti.

I leaned into her back, pressing myself against her as my fingers gripped her hips. Her breath hitched as I used my nose to move the hair away from her ear, "You know, we really should do something about this sexual tension. It's almost...palpable." I whispered before biting on her ear lobe before walking away, cackling like the crazy bitch I was. The crazy bitch I acted like I was.

I spent the next two class periods debating on the next way I was going to torture Vega, realizing at this point that I was also torturing myself. But hey, if she can act disinterested and detached, I can do it twice as well. So fuck it.

As I strutted down the hall before lunch, I made a point to hold my head high just in case my path should cross Vega's. As I made my way by the bathroom, a hand shot out of the door and yanked me inside, shoving me against it once it closed. My gaze fell on a pair of auburn eyes and perfect cheek bones.

"Vega." I said, keeping my voice firm.

"You're a tease, Jade." She whispered as her lips moved against mine.

"Tell me something I don't know." I said in between kisses.

"Tell me what happened with Beck?" She asked when we broke apart for a break, our chests heaving and our lips chapped.

"He didn't do anything for me anymore. We've been over for a while, Vega. You know that." I told her, wondering why she would choose now to bring up a topic long put to rest.

"Just checking out the competition." She replied in a low voice with a coy smile. She leaned in for another kiss, though I dodged it and looked at her, abandoning this succubus-style attitude I held for the purpose of distraction.

"You've never had any competition. You know that." I said in a soft voice as my brow furrowed in frustration and I shook my head slightly.

The lust in her eyes ebbed as she took a step back and swiped the pad of her thumb against her lower lip. She looked irritated with me. I had given her nothing to be irritated for, so that instantly fueled my own frustration. I looked at her with a pained expression, one I knew she would easily be able to read.

"What, did I ruin the mood?" I asked snidely.

"Little bit." She replied tersely.

I scoffed, shaking my head and crossing my arms, "Why are you doing this?"

She shrugged, "Because for a long time, there were no strings here. This was just what we did. And then, that changed. You..."

"No. Do not. Don't you dare try to spin this on me. You were just as much into this as I was. Or do I need to remind you of all the late night pillow talk about how much you liked me and how badly you wanted to be with me. Then you bail out like...like I've got the fucking plague or something. I'm sick of this shit, Tori. I'm not just some science experiment. And then you go...you go and you give me that bull shit last night." I said, my voice growing louder.

"What are you talking about?" She asked me incredulously.

"Of course. Of course you don't remember. Because that would just make this too easy." I said snidely, shaking my head as I began pacing around the bathroom. She did nothing but watch me for a moment, clearly sensing the festering anger building up inside me.

"What is it?" She asked as she reached out for my arm to cease my movement.

"You told me you love me." I looked at her with harsh eyes, my words coming out sharp like knives.

Her eyes grew wide and she stared at me in shock, "I didn't...I mean, I do, but..." She stammered.

I shook my head, "Save it. Seriously. I'm done."

"Jade, no. Come on. We've got at least a half hour before this period is over. Just stay here with me. Please? It's just us right now. Let's leave everything else outside of this room. Just us. Like we used to." She said, her voice growing soft as she took a step closer to me, rubbing my arms gently before cupping my cheek.

What the hell was 'us'? Two girls who supposedly hate each other but can't keep our hands off of each other. Friends who love each other but are too scared to admit it. Enemies.

"No. Not now. I...Just no." I said as I took her by the wrists and lifted her hands from my face.

"What's making you leave, Jade?" Tori asked, stopping me from my retreat from the restroom.

"The same thing that isn't making me stay." I answered her simply before leaving the bathroom, and trying again to leave her out of my life.

**It's a little messy. I figured Jade would be wrecked with these conflicting emotions. Going back and forth with being vulnerable and trying to act as though she's got everything under control. Ugh. Poor Jade. Feedback is welcomed and much appreciated. Until next time!**


	4. The Beast in Me

**It's a lot longer than the others, but I had an idea so I just kept going with it! Enjoy, kids!**

The day following the bathroom incident was a Friday, and Vega decided to have a party since her parents were out of town. Initially, I was going to decline the invitation Robbie had given me. Robbie. Of all people, that kid grew a pair and approached me after school to ask if I wanted to go with him.

"Jade, I know you're probably going with Beck, or Cat. If you're even going at all, that is. But I was just wondering if maybe..." He stammered slightly, wiping his palms on the thighs of his jeans.

"What are you talking about, Robbie?" I asked as I dug through my locker, looking for my car keys.

"Tori's party tonight." He stated, sounding more confident since I hadn't threatened him with bodily harm. Yet.

"She's having a party?" I asked, casting a quick look over to where she stood at her locker, laughing with Cat.

"Well, yeah. No one's said anything to you yet?" He asked, sounding surprised.

I brushed off the slight hurt that I felt when I thought about the fact that no one had invited me, "I haven't really talked to anyone today."

Robbie nodded, "Well, would you want to go with me?" He asked hopefully.

I looked him up and down and thought about my options. I mean, I could go with him and it wouldn't be a big deal at all. Robbie's a good kid. Kinda weird. But he's still a good kid. Or, I could just not go at all and start getting over Vega like I had planned. That was my brain's idea. My heart, however, had other plans.

"Sure. We can go together. I'll pick you up at eight?" I suggested as I finally found my keys and shut my locker.

Robbie smiled happily at me as he nodded his head vigorously, "Yeah. Of course. Eight is perfect." He said before walked away with a little skip to his step.

I had to smile at that. Robbie was a simple kid. He just wanted friends and instead he's the butt of every joke. I made a mental note to lay off on the kid a little , as best as I could.

I spent the afternoon thinking about witty things to say to Vega if I got the chance. Something to put her in her place in regards to the situation that we were in. I was still furious that she had the audacity to blame me for the way things turned out between the two of us. We would have been fine if she had never kissed me that night with Cat. More than fine. We would be perfect because we would still be enemies.

Who the hell am I kidding? I loved every second of it when it happened. I love every second of it when it happens again. No matter how badly she hurts me.

Soon enough, after wallowing in self-pity for hours on end, it was time to go pick up Robbie and head over to Vega's for a night of self-induced torture and alcohol. Yay.

I pulled into Robbie's driveway and honked twice. Within moments, the scrawny boy was emerging from his house sans Rex. That surprised me. Lately he had been leaving the puppet at home. Not to say I wasn't excited. The only thing that I wasn't looking forward to in going to this party with Robbie was being in close quarters with that creepy puppet.

"Thanks for the ride, Jade." Robbie said once he got into the car.

I shrugged, "Don't worry about it." I said as I pulled out of his driveway.

"Hey, uh...if you don't mind me asking, are you okay?" Robbie asked, his voice shaking.

I looked at him quickly, confused that he would even ask something like that, "What? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've just been different lately. Everyone just said that you always shut people out and all that, but you look so sad." Robbie said softly, chancing a glance in my direction. My mouth hung agape. Of all people to pick up on what's being going on with me, and it's Robbie fucking Shapiro.

"Yeah. I haven't really felt like myself lately, Rob." I said softly, surprising even myself with allowing such a vulnerability with him.

"It's about Tori, isn't it?" He asked quietly.

Thankfully we were at a red light. I looked at him with wide eyes, "What? Why would you even ask that?" I asked, attempting to sound incredulous.

Robbie smiled, "You look at her the same way I wish Cat would look at me."

I was speechless. When the light turned green, I turned my attention back to the road and continued to drive. Silence filled the car with an uncomfortable tension. I didn't know what to say. Was it really that obvious?

"You don't have to say anything," Robbie said, breaking the silence, "I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"I...I appreciate that, Robbie. I really do." I said, looking at him and hoping that he knew I was being sincere. Another smile appeared on that boyish face and I have to admit, it made me feel a little better knowing that Robbie took the chance to talk to me about this. Not even Cat had bothered to say anything about it. Or even noticed for that matter.

"I won't drink. Just in case you wind up not wanting to stay." Robbie said politely. I smiled at him and nodded appreciatively.

Pulling into Vega's driveway, I really couldn't tell what I was feeling. Nervous to see how she would take to seeing me considering she didn't even invite me. Angry at the fact that she didn't invite me. Itching to see if she'd initiate any kind of physical contact.

We walked through the front door to see that the rest of the gang had already arrived. Nobody looked surprised to see me, which made me feel better about not getting an invitation. Vega was in the kitchen with her back to us, so I walked quietly up behind her and set my hands on her hips. She nearly jumped out of her skin, turning to face me quickly with wide eyes.

"Oh. It's you." She said as she let out a deep breath with one hand over her heart, "You scared me!"

"You sound like you were expecting me." I said in a low voice as I took a step away so I was out of sight of the living room and any prying eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Vega asked coyly as she went back to mixing her drink.

"Because my invitation came from Robbie." I said, slightly irritated.

"We talked about it yesterday after school. You were already gone and he said he'd talk to you about it." She said as she turned to me with a drink in each hand. She offered me one and I accepted it, not willing to turn down free alcohol. I took a drink and coughed. It was strong. Like, at least half of this glass of whiskey. I looked at her with challenging eyes as she sipped her drink, batting her lashes at me innocently, "Do we have a problem?" She asked.

I licked my lips before taking another drink, "Not at all." I replied with a smirk.

"Good." She said, the corner or her mouth curling up slightly as she leaned in, brushing her lips against mine. I couldn't tell if the whiskey I was tasting was from her mouth or my own drink, but I was already feeling slightly drunk. Intoxicated with a simple kiss. I'm a closet sap, not a lightweight. I attempted to regain my composure and stop myself from pulling her back to me when she pulled away.

"Let's enjoy the party, Vega." I drawled as I walked by her, brushing against her body as I made my way back to the living room.

We sat and drank for quite some time before I needed a refill on mine. I got to my feet and was suddenly hit with how intoxicated I really was. Damn, that drink was strong. I got into the kitchen and went to make myself another, much weaker, drink. Hey, I kind of wanted to remember in the morning what happened. I had been rifling through the fridge to find some kind of dark soda to mix with when a pair of slender hands attached themselves to my hips. I smirked as I grabbed a can of cola and turned around to see Vega standing there, looking at me with glassy eyes.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

Vega hummed in thought as she watched her hand trace patterns on my stomach, "Maybe."

"You're drunk, Vega." I said, prying myself away from her and walking over to where I had sent my glass, regretting the fact that I was now completely out of sight of the others, yet again.

"I'm fine." I heard Vega whine quietly behind me before leaning against the counter next to where I stood.

"You got a big head, don't you? Walking around, saying you're all fine and shit." I mocked as I poured the soda into my glass.

Vega laughed as she subtly moved closer to me, "You think I am, don't you?"

"Drunk? Yes. We've been over this." I said, casually trying to avoid what she was really asking.

"No," She giggled and leaned into me, "Pretty. Do you think I'm pretty, Jade?" She asked, fluttering those thick lashes up at me again.

I let out a sigh as I took a deep drink from my glass, "I think you're beautiful. But you knew that already." I said, looking at her through conflicted eyes.

"Tell me something I don't know, then." She requested playfully as the distance between us got smaller and smaller.

I smirked, "I hate you." I said softly, in a tone reserved for more of an I love you.

Our lips were barely a hair apart and before she claimed my lips for her own, she whispered, "Liar."

I kissed her hard, my frustration coming out in nips and pulls against her lower lip as I held her close by the back of the neck. I pushed her away abruptly, picked up my drink and headed out of the kitchen. Not before stopping by where the alcohol was set up to take a long drag straight from the whiskey bottle.

Fuck remembering. I was going to drink to forget.

Which is exactly what happened because the next thing I remember clearly is waking up in my bed the next morning, in only my underwear and cradling my pounding head.

"Fuck." I moaned as I rolled onto my back from my side.

"You and me both." A familiar voice said next to me. My eyes shot open and I slowly turned to see an underwear-clad Vega laying on her back with the sheets only cover up to her midriff.

"The fuck are you doing in my bed?" I grumbled as I rubbed the sleep and yesterday's make up from my eyes, "And why are we only in our underwear?"

Vega laughed softly, "Well, you see Jade, when two people love each other very much..." She trailed off comically.

I rolled my eyes and sat up slowly, my back facing her, "Yeah, like love has anything to do with what we're doing." I said, scoffing as I ran a hand through my hair and looked at my room. Clothing was strewn about haphazardly and a lamp had been knocked off my desk, along with a can of pencils. Damn. Things got messy last night, I guess. "How the hell did we end up at my place?" I asked.

"You really don't remember?"

I looked at her, "Not a damn thing."

She let out a sigh as she lifted herself up with her arms and as she moved to a sitting position, the sheet covering her fell slightly and exposed an angry red outline of teeth above her panty line and an array of hickeys down her side. My eyes grew wide at the sight and suddenly my memory started to clear up.

"Oh fuck."

_"Jade, stop." Vega had said, following me out of the kitchen and into the living room. I stopped in the center of the room, knowing full well we had the attention of all of our friends. I looked at her expectantly, waiting to see if she would bother trying to talk about anything regarding our situation in the presence of others._

_"I...wanted you to teach us that game you told me about." Vega stammered, clearly trying to cover her own ass._

_I let out a cynical laugh, "You and I don't play by the same rules, sweetie."_

_Confused looks were exchanged among all of our other friends. Those who had no clue the implications of what I was saying. Vega's face showed her irritation with very little effort to conceal it. She let out a huff before taking a generous drink from her glass and sitting down next to Andre. I took a seat on the opposite couch next to Robbie, as far away from her as I could possibly be. Though the distance didn't stop her from passing me heated glares across the room while she traced the rim of her glass with her fingertip._

_"Okay, how about a different game?" Robbie suggested, clearly sensing the tension in the room as he looked at me worriedly. I shook my head, indicating it wasn't something I wanted to talk about._

_"Truth or dare." Cat suggested from her seat on the floor._

_I said nothing, only shrugging my acceptance of the idea while everyone else nodded and agreed. This was a terrible idea._

_"Beck, truth or dare?" Andre asked, looking at my ex._

_"Truth." Beck said._

_I scoffed, "Of course."_

_"Okay," Andre paused as he thought for a moment, "How many girls have you slept with?" Half of the party had their eyes glued to Beck for his answer, while the other have looked at me nervously for my reaction. I rolled my eyes again and took another deep drink from my glass, reveling in the burn of the whiskey._

_"One." Beck answered, shrugging as he leaned back against the couch, "Robbie, truth or dare?" Beck asked with a smirk._

_"Uh, dare." Robbie answered nervously._

_Beck's grin grew and I got slightly nervous when he passed a glance over me, "I dare you to kiss Jade."_

_Now, had Robbie and I not had our little moment in the car earlier, I probably would have punched him in the jaw if he even looked at me after Beck finished. However, we had, and I was more interested in pissing off Vega by forcing her to watch someone else reap the benefits she took for granted. Not only that, the smug look on Beck's face was starting to irritate me as well._

_Robbie looked at me nervously, and I could see that he had no intention of moving any closer unless I indicated it was okay. I gave him a playful, yet dangerous, smirk and he let out a deep breath before leaning in and setting his lips against mine. I deepened the kiss just for shits and giggles, enjoying the noises of disbelief coming from our friends. When we pulled away, Robbie was blushing a deep rouge as he sat back in the couch looking starstruck. I chanced a look in Vega's direction, enjoying the fact that she wore a mask of disdain as she sipped her drink._

_"Jade, truth or dare." Robbie finally managed to say once his face returned to its normal color._

_"Dare." I said, my eyes never leaving Tori's._

_"I dare you to kiss the guy that, in your opinion, is the most attractive." Robbie said and I looked at him, confused. I had anticipated a dare involving Tori. He gave me a look that I had a feeling meant he wanted me to trust him. I shrugged and lifted myself off of the couch and walked over to where Andre sat. In one fell swoop, I leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss that was as sensual as I could make it. Which was harder than I thought because in all honesty, after I started kissing Vega, kissing guys kind of lost its allure. Regardless, I knew that her eyes were glued to me, so I made it as convincing as possible._

_When I was done, I walked back to my seat, swaying my hips as I did so, and sat back down. I ignored the slightly frustrated expression on Beck's face as I drank from my glass, looking at Vega while I did so._

_"Cat, truth or dare?" I asked my red headed friend._

_She giggled, "Dare!"_

_"I dare you to sit next to the person you have feelings for." I said, passing Robbie a knowing look. Cat's face flushed slightly as she stood and walked over to where we sat._

_"Uh...Jade." She said softly._

_"Yes?" I drawled out, looking up at her with a smile._

_"...C-can you scoot over?" She asked. I complied all to willingly as I smiled smugly, enjoying the looks of surprise on everyone's faces as she sat close to Robbie. It felt very nice to do something good for once._

_"Andre, truth or dare?" Cat asked as she continued to giggle next to Robbie._

_"Ah...Truth." Andre said, nodding._

_"Have you ever had feelings for Tori?" Cat asked._

_The two shared an awkward look between them as they inched away from each other, "No...I mean, no offense, girl, but it's just..."_

_"Hey, an explanation was not part of the truth." Vega said quickly and uncomfortably._

_"Right. So...Tori, truth or dare?"_

_"Dare." Vega said confidently as she looked at me._

_"I dare you to..." Andre trailed off as he thought for a moment, "I dare you to kiss who you think is the most attractive girl in the room. Truthfully, too."_

_"You can't add a truth in a dare!" Vega said defensively._

_"Are you gonna chicken out?" Andre asked as he laughed._

_"No." She replied stubbornly as she set her glass down on the coffee table and got off the couch, stomping over to where I sat. I could tell that she was irritated that she'd have to express any kind of interest in me in public. Well, an interest more than the friendship she so desperately desired. Part of me thought she'd kiss Cat just to piss me off. But part of me realized she was pretty drunk and probably hadn't thought of something that clever. She rested her knee on the couch in between my legs and roughly grabbed me by the back of the head and kissed me with bruising force. The leg still on the ground must have slipped because in order to catch herself, her knee shifted forward, causing me to arc into her. The smirk that I could feel her give through the kiss pissed me off as I tugged her lower lip, sucking on it hard and letting it go with a pop and a squeal from her._

_She looked at me with hazy eyes as she got back to her feet and went back to her seat. The guys were staring at us with slacked jaws while we sat in silence, finding our drinks to be much more interesting._

_"I'm bored." I said, dismissing the thought of continuing this stupid game. Only one good thing came out of it and it was the kissing couple next to me. Vega rolled her eyes dramatically and stormed into the kitchen with Beck hot on her heels, leaving Andre and I sitting in the living room alone. I stood and walked over to the stereo system, flipping through the CDs until I found one I'd enjoy. As I put the disc into the player, Andre came up beside me and leaned against the speaker._

_"So, you think I'm attractive?" He asked smoothly._

_I let out a laugh and smirked playfully, "Suppose so."_

_"All right." Andre said with a smug smile as he rubbed his hands together. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by an angry voice coming from the direction of the kitchen._

_"Jade." Vega practically growled._

_"What?" I asked, irritated._

_"Come here." She ordered._

_"I'm talking, Vega." I said, motioning between Andre and myself._

_"Kitchen. Now." She snarled. I rolled my eyes and walked away from Andre, walking right past Vega, catching her by the elbow and dragging her back with me._

_"Well?" I asked as I leaned against the counter furthest away from the living room._

_"Not here." Vega said before grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me out to her back patio._

_"Okay. Now what?" I asked, crossing my arms and looking at her through hard eyes._

_I was given no answer. Instead, I found myself with an armful of Vega as she attacked my mouth with her own as her hands slid down my back. I kissed back as I grabbed a fist-full of her hair and pulling less than gently so her neck would be exposed for me. I kissed and bit at the flesh I found, enjoying the mewling noises coming from her mouth as her hands gripped my hips._

_"Kissing Andre and Robbie. Trying to make me jealous, Jade?" She asked, breathlessly._

_"Fuck." I said when I finally pushed her away. I looked at her with anger and frustration building up inside me. If I didn't get it out somehow, I was going to explode._

_"We could." She said mischievously._

_"Not here. Let's go back to my place."_

_"How do you propose we get there?" Vega asked skeptically._

_"Robbie. He hasn't drank at all." I said before storming back into the house and making a beeline for Robbie who was now sitting on the couch talking with Cat._

_"Robbie, take us back to my place." I said. Vega was back in the kitchen, closing and locking the door._

_Robbie glanced back at her and looked at me, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"_

_"Fuck what's a good idea." I said frustrated._

_"What about a good idea?" Vega asked as she came up behind me._

_"Me taking you guys back to Jade's." Robbie said casually as he stood. I handed him my keys and grabbed my jacket._

_"Where's Beck and Andre?" Vega asked._

_"Going through Trina's room." Robbie answered, slightly sheepishly._

_Vega shrugged it off and followed us out of the house. The drive was completely silent, the air thick with tension as Robbie drove to my house. When we pulled into the driveway, Vega and I were practically out of the car before he had a chance to park. I leaned back inside and patted Robbie on the chest._

_"Thank you. When you get back to Vega's, have a drink. A strong one. And enjoy the fact that Cat Valentine has a crush on you, kid."_

_Robbie gave me an appreciative smile and a wave as he pulled out of the driveway and back off in the direction of Vega's house. We looked at each other for a moment before making our way into my house and up to my bedroom._

_I ushered Vega into my room and once I closed the door behind me, I reached out and grabbed her wrist, spinning her around and shoving her into the wood. She let out a grunt as my lips attacked hers with a hungry passion. Her hands tugged at my hair as I slid my hands up her shirt, pulling it up as I went. I tossed the garment behind me as I attached my lips to her neck as she hastily unbuttoned my flannel, sliding it down my shoulders. We did the honors of taking off our own jeans because fuck trying to get those skin-tight jeans off of her legs._

_I pushed her onto my bed and crawled over her, capturing her lips in another rough kiss. My lips trailed hot kisses and nips down her neck and past her breast. The bites grew harsher as I moved down one side, sinking my teeth in at a particular spot as I slid her panties off of her legs. She cried out as her hand tangled in my hair, urging me to continue on my journey, which I happily obliged to._

_After a while her hands tugged on my hair, pulling my head back up to her, "Come here." She whispered lustfully as I kissed her soundly on the mouth. The intensity of the kiss had occupied all of my attention, stilling my hand from it's previous motion. Though I was brought back to the task at hand when I felt her yank my own underwear off of my body, and then felt a very familiar set of fingers setting my lower half ablaze._

_It was rough and relentless; an outlet for our anger towards each other. She had somehow awoken a beast inside me. An insatiable, rage-consumed beast that needed to be released. When we finished, our bodies were slick with sweat as we lay a heap of numb limbs and heavy breathing._

_"Do you really, Jade?" I heard Vega asked. I couldn't tell if I had missed the first half of her question in the post-orgasm haze currently overtaking my mind._

_"Do I what?"_

_"Hate me?" She asked, her voice quiet._

_I slowly lifted myself off of her and fell on my side with my back to her, "What the fuck do you think?"_

And then I passed out. So now I'm all caught up on how much I fucked up. So much for moving on. I guess I should have expected that to be a futile idea. I looked over to Vega and saw how she looked at me with a concerned expression.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked quietly, hating myself as I analyzed every wound I inflicted on her.

"I'm fine." She said with a smile as she shook her head.

"There you go again." I said, trying my best to be playful after what had happened between us.

She gave me a soft smile as she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, "You know, I could almost get used to waking up next to you."

My face froze over and I looked away, standing up and walking to my dresser in search of more clothing.

"Don't say shit you don't mean, Vega." I snapped at her.

I heard her let out a sigh, "I do mean it."

"Get out." I said firmly as I pulled a tank top over my head. Vega nodded and got to her feet, slowly dressing herself as I stood on the other side of the room with my arms crossed.

"I'll see you at school on Monday." She said softly as she took a few strides in my direction. Before I could really stop her, a pair of soft lips placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and then she was gone.

It was at that moment that I knew if it was possible for me to hate that girl, I would _loathe_ her and the things she did to me.


	5. Learning to Let Go

Later in the day, after Vega had left and I had soaked in a hot bath, trying to sweat out my hangover, Robbie had courteously dropped off my car for me. Beck had followed him in his truck and when I went outside to get my keys, Beck got out of his truck and I got the impression they wanted to chat.

"How ya feeling?" Beck asked as he squinted at me through the sun.

"Fine? Why wouldn't I be?" I replied, irritated already with his inquiry.

"Robbie said he took you home last night because you got in a fight with your parents. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Beck said, though the way he was looking at me made me nervous. When we were dating, I could never hide anything from him. I was hoping that now things would be different.

"Oh, yeah. They weren't even awake when I got home, so it was a waste. Go figure." I said nonchalantly as I ran a hand through my hair.

Beck let out a sigh and shoved his hands into his pockets, "Okay, what's going on, here?"

I glanced at Robbie who looked incredibly nervous, "What are you talking about?"

"If you got into a fight with your parents, why would you need Tori?" He asked, looking at me skeptically.

"Because if I brought Vega with me, they'd have to wait to yell at me. They'd hate for strangers to think poorly of them." I said snidely.

Beck shook his head, "Not buying it."

"Yeah, and why's that?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"That hickey on your neck." Beck said, nodding in my directing. My eyes grew wide as I moved my hair to cover my neck. Beck chuckled as he shook his head.

I let out a defeated sigh, "Fine. Get inside. I'm not having a pow-wow in my driveway." I said as I ushered the two boys into my house. "You couldn't have said I was sick or something? Something that would have made sense for Vega's assistance." I said as I followed them inside.

"I'm sorry! It was the best I could come up with when I got back to Tori's last night!" Robbie squealed apologetically. I rolled my eyes, not really interested in continuing an argument that was quite pointless.

Beck flopped down onto the couch in my living room while Robbie sat in an armchair. They both watched as I paced the length of the living room for a few minutes, gathering my thoughts. I gave up trying to figure out the best way to tell them the story so I stopped my movements and looked at them.

"Well?" I asked, expectantly.

"What's going on with you?" Beck asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, and what's Tori's deal? When Trina brought her back this morning, she was pissed." Robbie added.

This piqued my interest. I looked at him questioningly, "She was upset?"

"She wouldn't talk to anyone. She went straight up to her room. Trina told us to just let it go." Robbie answered with a shrug.

"So, what happened?" Beck asked again.

I let out a disgruntled groan as I ran a hand through my hair, "Vega and I have been...Well, we sort of...We've been sleeping together." I finally managed to blurt out, ignoring the slight heat rising in my cheeks. Beck and Robbie looked at me with their mouths agape and eyes wide in disbelief.

"You...have been sleeping with Tori? The girl that you hate? The girl that you've tried to force into anaphylactic shock by shoving her face in bush daisies? The girl that you pushed off of a two story set? The girl that-"

"Okay, I get it! I haven't been the nicest to her. So maybe that's why she's doing this to me, then." I said as I slumped into the chair on the other side of the couch.

"Doing what?" Beck asked as he sat up.

"I don't even know." I said quietly as I rested my chin on my hands with my elbows on my knees.

"Wait, you don't...Do you like her?" Beck asked almost comically. I looked at him with hard eyes and he dropped the humorous smile and looked at me seriously, "Shit. You do."

"So, what's Tori's take in all of this?" Robbie asked, directing my death glare away from Beck.

I shook my head, "I couldn't tell you. One day it seems like she really likes me and the next it's like it's all about sex and she could care less about what I'm feeling." I said sullenly.

"What do you mean?" Beck asked hesitantly.

"A few days ago, she drunkenly told me that she loves me, but when I confronted her about it she denied it. It's just really complicated." I said as I looked down and shook my head.

"Why don't you just stop sleeping with her, then?" Beck asked, as if it were really so simple. I looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"You think I haven't tried that?"

Beck laughed at that, "It isn't like she's making you."

I chuckled, looking at my hands while I spoke, "No, but she doesn't have to. I tell myself, fuck, I even tell her, that I'm done and that I'm walking away. But I always end up going back to her."

"Maybe that's the problem. She thinks she can do whatever she wants because she knows you'll come crawling back. You gotta show her that you're irreplaceable. That if she doesn't wise up and cut the act, she's going to lose the best thing she'll ever get." Beck said, and what caught me off guard was how passionately he spoke about me. He blushed slightly when he realized what he had said, running a hand through his hair awkwardly and looking around the room.

"He's right." Robbie said, "She's gonna keep doing this to you if you don't do something sooner or later. You deserve better than that."

"Thanks guys. I don't know, though. It's just...a whole lot of shit I gotta deal with I guess." I said with a sad smile.

"You might be better off without her. Or you might be great with her once she figures her own shit out." Beck said with a shrug before standing, "I gotta get going. Rob, you want a ride?" He asked, stretching out his body and looking at Robbie.

"If that's okay." Robbie said, standing as well and looking at me, "You're gonna be okay, Jade."

I smiled as I stood as well, "I always am. That's one thing I can guarantee."

I saw them both out and once I was alone again, I went back up to my room, closing the door and blasting my music, hoping to sort out my thoughts. Laying on my bed, I reached over to my nightstand to grab my phone, realizing I had left it in my room the entire time I was with the guys.

I had a series of messages from Vega:

_Can we talk?_

_ Jade, seriously?_

_ Look, I think we need to talk about this morning._

_ Please, stop ignoring me._

_ You know, for someone who has been begging for answers, you're not exactly welcoming._

I rolled my eyes. The last one was from only five minutes ago. I opened up a new message and punched in a quick reply.

_I'm on my way._

Sweet and simple. So I got out of bed and dressed myself, put on a little make up and fixed my hair so it covered the rather large hickey I hadn't noticed this morning, and I was out the door and on my way to Vega's.

When I arrived, I knocked on her door. Three loud raps and then I waited. And waited. I almost turned around and gave up right as the door swung open and Vega was standing there, her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head and her glasses perched on her nose.

"Jade. You came." She said, a soft smile playing at her lips.

"I said I would." I said casually as I walked by her and into her house.

"Let's go upstairs." Vega said as she closed the door and lead the way to the second story of her house. I followed her, albeit slightly reluctantly. My heart was currently thundering in my chest as I thought about what I was walking into.

I closed her bedroom door behind me and watched as she walked slowly around her bed and took a seat.

"Well?" I asked as I crossed my arms and tapped my foot expectantly.

"Look, about what I said this morning..." She began softly.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Of course that's what this is about. Another confession you were wanted to unload on me only to ignore it and pretend it never happened when I brought it up? Like I didn't see that coming."

"Jade, that is not fair." Vega said, her voice low.

"No, you know what isn't fair? The way you've been treating me." I said, pointing a finger in my chest.

"And you've been treating me any better? Making out with Robbie and Andre right in front of me! Do you think I wanted to see that?" Vega asked, her voice cracking slightly.

"Green isn't a very good color on you, Vega." I said snidely before pausing for a moment as I thought about what she had just said, "Do you...do you just want me to want you? Is that what this is? Do you just need to know that there is someone willing to fall on their sword for you? This isn't one of your shitty pop songs or some chick flick, Vega. I have feelings. Something you've been doing a damn good job and pretending don't exist lately. So I'm done. I'm over all this shit. I'm over breaking my own heart over you. I'm out." I practically snarled as I took a step back towards her door.

"Jade, wait." She said, standing up from her spot on the bed and walking over to me.

"For what? For you to finally accept the fact that you want to be with me? I've been waiting for you, Vega. Since the morning after that first fucking night when you thought it would be a good idea for you to kiss me. And all I've gotten in return is drunk sex and a broken heart."

She looked at me completely dejected as she dropped her hand from my arm. I shook my head, casting her one last look of disdain before turing to leave.

I paused as my hand clasped tightly to the doorknob. I turned my head slightly and asked her the question that had been burning inside me since all of this started, "Why did you kiss me that night, Vega?"

"Why did you kiss back?" She asked, her voice soft.

I turned completely to look at her, "Don't answer my question with another question." I said, trying to sound threatening.

She looked at me for a moment before her eyes glanced around her room, "I wanted to get you out of my head."

"What?" I asked in disbelief, taking a step closer to her.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Jade. It's been driving me crazy. So yeah, I kissed you. I thought it would help me get over this stupid fucking infatuation that I've had with you." She said sharply, and I had to suppress a chuckle with the way she whispered _fucking_.

"Did it work?" I asked as the distance between us began to slowly close.

"Not a chance." She muttered as her eyes passed from my own to my lips.

"What if I don't want to be out of your head?" I questioned, my voice hardly above a whisper.

Vega's eyes locked with mine and I watched as she thought over what I had just inquired. I truly believed that maybe we had made some kind of move in the right direction with this conversation. After all, I had just gotten her to admit that she knew there was something there between us.

Finally, she spoke, "You keep asking me all of these questions, and I just don't have the answers." She said, shaking her head slightly.

I let out a light scoff as I took a step back, "Of course you don't."

"What do you want from me, Jade? Seriously. I thought this was just supposed to be like _Fight Club_! You know, we don't talk about it. You seemed like you were perfectly okay with that. What changed?" She pleaded, looking at me through desperate eyes.

"I did. I want more." I found myself saying as I looked at her through cold eyes.

"Why?" She asked, desolately.

"Why not, Vega? What is so wrong with wanting to be with you?" I took a step closer to her and reached out for her wrists.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into." Vega said, trying to pull away from me as she looked down.

"Only because you won't let me. What happened to you, Tori?"

"What are you talking about?" She asked, her voice icy.

"Something happened that made you think you don't deserve to be loved." My voice was soft as I tried to pull her closer to me.

She laughed cynically, "Don't be so dramatic, Jade. All that this was between us was sex."

"You say that now, but the girl in my bed two nights ago told me she loved me. And I believe her." I said, my voice soft.

"And what if I said she wasn't worth believing?"

"What about the girl this morning? Is she worth believing? Not even twenty-four hours ago were you telling me that you could fucking get used to waking up next to me. And now you're going back on it and I'm just supposed to act like it never happened. Just like we always do." I said through clenched teeth, growing incredibly irritated with how fickle she was being with me.

"I don't know, Jade." She said softly as she pried herself out of my hands.

"I want you to look at me and tell me you don't like me. That you don't feel anything for me. If you can do that, I'll do what you asked and leave you alone. I'll forget all about whatever we had. Or didn't have." I said, doing my very best to fight the tears that were threatening to spill out.

She scoffed as she looked at the ground, "You say that as if not liking you is an impossible feat."

Well that hurt.

"Who knew that Tori Vega had a heart of stone?" I asked icily as I looked at her with distaste.

I watched as she sat down on her bed and shook her head, "And who knew Jade West actually had a heart?"

Twice in under five minutes. Damn, this girl was cold.

I laughed darkly as I shook my head, "I'll take that as my answer. I'm out. I can't keep fooling myself into believing that you actually gave a damn about me. So, here it is: you got what you wanted. I'll leave you alone. For good." I said, with such finality in my voice I almost believed me.

Turning and storming out of her room was easier than I anticipated, especially considering the only thing I really wanted to do was hold her as close to me as I could and tell her the truth: that I would always be there for her, and that I believed I was falling in love with her. Obviously, something like that was completely out of the question so I continued my path out of the Vega household and to my car, driving back to my place and hiding in the solace of my bedroom, where I spent the remainder of the day.

And the entirety of the following Sunday.

I did my best to walk into school on Monday with as much confidence that I could muster. Digging through my locker for nothing in particular was the only way I could keep myself from glancing over to the group as they stood around Vega's locker and talked and laughed about the party that Vega missed most of. I wonder if she was thinking about the things she had been doing to me while they told their stories. I rolled my eyes when I heard her melodic laugh ring through the halls. I was more irritated with the fact that I still thought it was adorable, despite that I currently despised everything about her. Well, that I was acting like I did at least.

"So..." I heard a familiar voice drawl, breaking me from the trance the inside of my locker had on me. I turned to see Beck leaning next to my locker, looking at me with a small smile.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I looked past his shoulder to see Vega staring at us, wearing a rather intrigued expression on her face.

"Wondering what you're doing here alone." Beck offered as he nudged me slightly, "What are you doing over here?"

I let out a sigh as I closed my locker, "This is me learning to let go, Beck."

"I take it talking to her didn't go over well."

"Like a lead balloon." I grumbled.

"Look at it this way," Beck started in an optimistic voice, "she'll be going crazy without you in no time. I give her until the end of the week before she realizes how stupid she was for letting you walk away."

My eyes found their way back to hers once more and when I saw the pain resting on her face, it was almost enough to get me to crumble right there. But with Beck standing in front of me and giving me this weird kind of pep-talk, I knew I couldn't do that. For the sake of my own heart.

She said that I wasn't the only one hurting. Well, I'd like to see her prove that.


	6. The Things You Know

This whole letting go of Tori thing was just as hard as I had imagined it would be. I wound up just leaving my phone off and at home when I would go out. It made it less tempting to answer to phone calls and messages that way.

Beck was right when he said that Tori would be the first to try to break the silence between us. It didn't happen right away. There was a mutual quiet between us for a little over a week before my phone started buzzing with messages from her asking if we could talk.

She was relentless, I'll give her that much. It had been about a month and a half since our last argument, and a little over a month of that time did she spend trying to get my attention. I guess she didn't realize that she always had it, she just had to treat it right. On more occasions than one did I find myself slipping and nearly caving in to her calling.

And then came the day that I did.

I was sitting in Sikowitz's class when the final bell had rung. Class had started and Tori hadn't arrived yet. I looked around and saw that Andre was absent as well.

"Jade." Sikowitz called to me from the front of the room.

"What?" I grumbled, my eyes never leaving the chipped nail polish on my fingernails.

"Tori's not here." He stated.

"Mazel tov?"

"Where is she?" He asked me, clearly anticipating for me to have the answer.

"Last I checked, I wasn't the song bird's keeper." I said coldly.

"So you say. But if she's not here, it's usually because of something you did. Go find her." He instructed.

"What? That's not even-"

"Go!" Sikowitz ordered, cutting me off from trying to defend myself. I groaned loudly as I got to my feet and stomped out of the room and down the hall. As I approached the corner, I heard a familiar voice talking.

"So you're telling me that you have been sleeping with Jade West? _Our_ Jade West? The girl that sent you flowers that could have put you in the hospital?"

Was he talking to Vega? Sure as shit, as soon as the thought crossed my mind, I heard her voice answer his question.

"They weren't the kind that I'm allergic to." Vega said defensively.

"What? Trina said they were bush daisies though."

"They were. But not the species that I'm allergic to." Vega explained.

"Now, how do you know that?" Andre asked, and I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"My face would have blown up the second those flowers got near me. Plus, I might have called the flower shop where she got them from. The florist said that an angry girl ordered them and had the lady assure her that New England asters are not the same as African Bush Daisies. Now do you know any other angry girl that would do something like that?" Tori asked and I could almost hear the smile in her voice.

"Wow." Andre said.

"She's not the only one who does her research." Vega said smugly. I found myself smiling. Well, at least she knew I hadn't really been trying to kill her.

"So then you decided that it would be a good idea for you to start sleeping with her because...?" Andre trailed off, clearly not understanding her logic.

Welcome to the club, Andre. Welcome to the club.

I heard Vega sigh, and I leaned slightly forward to make sure I could hear what she was going to say.

"I thought it would be the best way to find out what I was feeling for her." Vega said quietly.

"Okay, now I'm confused."

"One night. That's all it was supposed to be. We were drunk at my house and I thought it would be a good idea to kiss her. I hadn't expected her to kiss back, and then when she did, I definitely didn't think she'd be okay with doing everything that we did. And the next morning, I thought that would be the end of it. We never talked about it. But I wanted more. I wanted her again and again. I thought it was just sex, you know? We started hanging out and talking more and I realized that things were getting sticky."

"So what'd you do?" Andre asked patiently.

"I told her I couldn't date her." Vega answered, and her voice sounded sad if I wasn't mistaken.

"Tori, you-"

"I know, Andre. Trust me, I know." Vega said, cutting off whatever he was about to reveal about her, "Things just got so complicated. I never thought she'd actually fall for me."

"If that's the whole story, that doesn't explain much." Andre said.

"We stopped sleeping together for a while. And I thought that was the end of it, but I went on that date and she was all I could think about. So I went over there afterwards and we drank a bottle of wine and then one thing is leading to the next and..." She trailed off and I wanted so desperately to see what her facial expression was while she talked about this. She sounded like she was in pain.

"Something happened that night, am I right?" Andre asked.

"I told her I loved her." Vega said with a sigh.

"Drunkenly?"

"I remembered saying it, if that's what you're asking. And I lied to her when she confronted me about it. I didn't know what to do. I froze up." She said, her voice sounding frantic.

"You meant it though, right?"

"Of course I did. I love her, Andre." I could hear the sadness pulling at her voice.

Oh my God. Aside from being furious that she had the audacity to lie to me, she meant it. She seriously meant what she said. This wasn't her playing a game with me where I couldn't really tell whether or not she was being serious. She was here talking to Andre, thinking that they're alone, and telling him everything about what had been going on between the two of us.

"Okay, Tori, help me out here because I'm not exactly understanding what the problem is. You like her. She likes you. It doesn't get much simpler than that."

"I'm just so scared."

"Of what?"

"Hurting her. She doesn't let people in very easily. She was crushed when her and Beck broke up, regardless of whether or not she'd admit it. I don't want to be the reason she shuts everyone out again."

"Jade's a big girl, Tori. All that you're doing right now is hurting both of you. She's already clearly made her decision that she wants to be with you." Andre said confidently.

"If she even feels that way anymore. She hasn't talked to me in almost two months." Tori said sadly.

"Well, that's something you gotta fix. You have to show her that you mean what you say this time around. She'll come around." Andre said. I decided that now was my best time to make my entrance, so I quietly backed up a few paces before stomping loudly around the corner.

"Vega, Andre. What the hell are you guys doing?" I barked, silently enjoying how her face flushed when she saw me as she casted Andre a nervous look.

"We were just...uh..." Vega stammered.

"I was having grandma issues." Andre said, trying to seem casual about it.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, well when the bell rings, usually that means it's time to go to class. Sikowitz wants you back in the room." We stood there in silence and I looked at them with irritation, "Now!"

Andre hurried past me, leaving Tori behind. I looked at her with disdain as I turned back around and made my way back to the classroom. This would be the first test. If she really meant everything she had said to Andre, something could had to come out of this encounter.

"Jade." She called to me. I turned slowly to look at her, hoping that I didn't look as excited as I felt.

"What?"

"Do you think we could...If you're free that is...I would just really like to talk to you after school today." She asked me as she bit down on her lip.

I thought for a moment about whether or not I was ready to hear her side of the story. Well, the parts that I hadn't heard her tell Andre at least.

"Yeah. Sure. We can go back to my place." I finally said blandly. Tori let out a sigh of relief and looked at me with appreciation.

"That sounds great." She said, giving me one last smile before entering the classroom. I followed her after taking a moment to compose myself. I had an array of emotions whirling around inside my head at that moment. I had just heard her admit to being in love with me. But she had lied to me. So many times had that girl lied to me, all because she was afraid of hurting me.

Well, we definitely had a lot to talk about when the time came, which it did quickly, thank God. The rest of the day moved smoothly and soon I found myself standing at my locker, staring blankly into it as I thought about what could happen.

"Hey, you ready?" I heard Vega ask me tentatively.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I said quietly as I closed my locker and followed her out of the school and to my car.

When we were safe and sound in the solace of my bedroom, I finally allowed myself to look at her for more than a brief moment. She was nervous. I could tell by the way she was wringing her hands as she idly moved around my room, her eyes falling on all of my trinkets, but never once on me.

"For someone who wanted to talk, you sure aren't saying much." I said as I looked at her from my place on my bed.

"I just...I want to make sure I say the right thing and that I say everything that I need to." Vega said after she took another moment of thought.

"Okay." I said simply. Another silent five minutes passed, consisting of me sitting and her fidgeting. Finally, she spoke again.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for the things that I said the last time we spoke. I'm sorry for lying to you. I...I remembered telling you that I love you that night. And I meant it. I still do. But I'm not sorry for kissing you that first night. Or any time after that. You were right. I'm scared. I don't want to give you another reason to not trust people. I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to be hurt either. You have that power, Jade. You have the ability to tear out my heart."

"Who's to say you don't have that same power over me?" I asked, unable to remain silent any longer.

"I know I do. And that's terrifying." She shook her head, "What's scarier is the thought of using that power."

"Which neither of us would do." I tried to reason with her.

"Not willingly at least." Vega added.

"That's the point of falling in love. You run the risk of getting hurt. I don't regret dating Beck. I don't regret loving him. And I don't regret losing him either. It's life, Tori. It did nothing but make me a better person, no matter how badly it hurt. What hurt you that you're so scared to feel it again?"

She let out a short laugh through her nose as she shook her head again and looked at the ground, "My mom's cheating on my dad. She has been for a while." Vega kept her eyes away from mine as I felt my jaw fall. Shit, that was heavy. "It's awful how obvious it is, and yet my dad's so hopelessly in love with her that he doesn't see it. Or he just refuses to. I just...I don't want something like that to happen to me."

"Tori..."

"That's what love does to you, Jade. It blinds you. It falters all of your senses. You don't see things that you would have because your mind is all muddled with this fantastical image of the other person that you've created in your mind. And when you finally see what was right in front of you that whole time, you're crushed. Your whole world comes crashing down around you and you're left in the rubble of what you thought you knew."

Tears were spilling out of her eyes at this point as she paced back and forth, her hands flailing as she spoke. I got out of bed quickly and crossed the room to her, wrapping my arms around her despite the fight she was putting up to get away from me. After a few seconds of struggling, she gave up and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. I could feel her body wracked with sobs as she buried her face in the crook of my neck.

"That wouldn't happen with us, Tori. You have to trust me." I whispered into her ear as I stroked her hair. Her weeping was less violent now as she slumped into me. I slowly moved us back to my bed and watched her as she crawled under the covers, exhausted by the emotions coursing through her veins. I moved in next to her and pulled her back to me.

"You knew those weren't African Bush Daisies. You knew that all along." I said as I slowly traced invisible circles on her lower back.

I felt her lips pull into a smile as she placed an innocent kiss on my collarbone, "You heard us talking, huh?"

"Yeah." I said as I let out a breath, pressing my lips to her forehead.

"You didn't give up on me." She stated.

"Nope." I said, popping the end of the word with my mouth.

"Why not?"

I let out a sigh, "I knew you lied to me the morning after you told me you loved me. I just couldn't let you go after that."

"I'm...not easy to be with, Jade." She said quietly as she buried her face in my hair.

I chuckled, "Good. I'm not either."

"Do you really think this will work?" She asked as she finally lifted her head to look at me.

"I'd like to believe so, but I don't know for sure." I replied, watching her face fall slightly as she registered what I was saying, "All I know is that I'm happy when I'm with you. Are you happy, Tori?"

A small smirk was playing on her lips as she nodded, her eyes lighting up when she heard what I said, "I am." She said before placing a sensual kiss on my lips. When we pulled away, she nuzzled her head back on my shoulder, and soon my eyes were slowly drooping, sleep claiming me for its own as Tori's breath bathed the skin of my throat.

My eyes snapped open when I felt a chill and the bed dipping. I opened my eyes and propped myself up, watching as Tori sat on the opposite side and stretched out her back.

"Where are you going?" I asked before clearing my throat and wiping away the remaining sleep from my eyes.

"I was gonna get going." Tori said sheepishly, and I could tell she was embarrassed. I, on the other hand, was panicking that she was having second thoughts about what we had talked about. She must have seen the alarm in my eyes because she was instantly back by my side. "It isn't that, I promise. I just wasn't sure what to do when I woke up. I didn't know how long you'd want me here. It's already seven."

"So stay." I whispered as I reached out and held her wrist, "Please?"

I watched as the worry on her face dissipate as a smile broke free before she leaned in and kissed me again, "I'd love to. Are you sure?"

"Positive." I said with my hand on the back of her neck, "Come here." I whispered as I pulled her back in for another kiss, this time deepening it the moment I got the chance. I heard her groan as she pushed me back down on the bed and hovered over me. Her lips quickly moved from my mouth to my throat as she slid her hands up my tank top. She pulled it off with utter ease as she reattached her mouth to my neck. My fingers made their way into her hair as my body acted on its own volition; my hips moved up to gain more contact with her body as my legs tangled with hers.

She took her time doting on my skin with soft lips as she undressed me. My breathing was labored as I tried to retain some sort of stream of consciousness, but it was really a futile attempt considering what she was doing to me.

"You're beautiful." She whispered into my ear. I let out a throaty laugh as she nipped at my ear, her fingers eliciting a moan from me moments later.

Soon her clothes joined mine on the floor as our bodies moved together in a dance we knew too well, though this time the music was different. I felt elated as her lips skimmed over the most sensitive areas on my body, quivering as she found that vulnerable spot on the curve of my hip.

What seemed like hours later, exhaustion threatened to push us into the arms of another deep sleep. I pulled Tori close to me as my hand ghosted down her side and she shivered into me.

"Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow, Tori?" I whispered. Despite everything that had happened today, from the beginning of the school day to mere moments before, a very strong part of me was afraid that come morning, she would change her mind again and I would be left with a handful of a shattered heart.

She lifted her head up lazily as she looked at me through tired eyes, "I would love to, Jade. I really would."

I ducked my head down and kissed her with a wide grin on my face. She resumed her previous position, tugging the comforter up to her chin and wrapping her arm around my bare waist.

**I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to continue this. Might be a good place to end. I might do one more chapter about their first date. *Shrugs***


	7. I Couldn't Stop if I Wanted To

**Insert crazy fluffy Jori-ness! Enjoy, you guys. Feedback is welcome. This could be a good place to end it. Enjoy, kids!**

Vega had spent the night. Holy shit. When I awoke, wrapped up in her arms, for the first time I felt light and happy. I couldn't quite put into words the elation that I felt when I opened my eyes and saw Vega's peaceful sleeping face. Especially knowing that she wouldn't be bolting shortly after she woke up. I pressed my lips lightly to her forehead, and felt her stir slightly. Dammit. I woke her up.

"If I say I could get used to this, are you going to kick me out again?" Vega said humorously as she snuggled closer to me.

I let out a long hum of thought. She sat up on her elbow and looked at me expectantly, "Of course not." I said with a smile.

She returned my grin and kissed me chastely, "Good. Because I could really get used to this." She buried her face in my hair. I pulled her closer to me and laughed.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that." I said as I chuckled.

"So where are you taking me tonight?" She asked as she pulled out of my embrace and kneeled on my bed, the loose shirt she borrowed from me practically drowning her.

I gave her a confused look as I thought about why she would be asking me something like that. Then I remembered that I had asked her on a date. Oh Jesus Christ, how was I going to put together a mind-blowing date in just a few hours?

"You think I'm going to give away the surprise?" I asked coyly as I cocked a brow at her.

"Oh, come on Jade. You know I hate surprises!" She whined as she tugged on my arm.

"All the more reason to not tell you." I teased as I sat up, running a hand through my hair, "We should get ready, huh? Gotta get to school." I groaned. I turned around to see Vega standing there in her underwear. Whatever else I was going to say was lost as my eyes slid down her body. It isn't like I hadn't seen it before, but the surprise of seeing it again caught me off guard.

"Jade." She said to me, her voice scolding as she strode past me and into my walk-in closet.

"What?" I stuttered as I turned to follow her with my eyes.

"I'm borrowing an outfit. I don't have anything to wear since I wasn't prepared for how...amazing last night turned out." She said, looking over her shoulder and giving me a smirk. She pulled out a dark red tank top and I watched as she tugged it over her head, covering those soft curves.

"I...I don't know if my pants will fit you." I stammered as she walked up to me.

"If this is how you act when you're clothed and I'm not, I'll have to remember this for future reference." She said seductively as she moved up on her tip toes to kiss me. She strutted back over to where her clothes from yesterday were and pulled on her jeans.

I shook my head, trying to compose myself as I cleared my throat and fished for my own outfit. As I dressed myself in a low-cut top and push-up bra, I smirked slightly, hoping she was prepared for her payback. I tousled my bed hair as I walked back out of my closet. She was sitting on my bed, patiently waiting for me while she typed furiously on her phone. When she looked up, her eyes grew slightly wide as her jaw fell.

"Well, don't you look...appealing." She said as she locked her phone and dropped it on her lap.

I gave her a look of amused confusion, "That works, I suppose."

She stood from the bed and walked over to me, draping her arms around my waist and pulling me close, "I love that I get to see this side of you now." She said as she smirked and pressed her lips to mine.

"You let anyone know about my soft side, and there will be hell to pay." I joked as I kissed her again.

"I wonder what kind of punishment that entails." She said as she rose her eyebrows suggestively.

"Why don't we head out to school if you wanna take that shot?" I suggested as I pulled away from her and grabbed my bag from the floor and slung it over my shoulder. I ushered her out of my room, my house, and into my car. We drove to school in relative quiet. She sang along to the songs she knew that came on my iPod, and I smiled at her eclectic taste in music.

We were at school before I really knew it, and I wondered how this would go. How the group would react to seeing us together. Aside from our whole hating each other charade, half of the group knew that something was going on behind closed doors. To see that we had opened those doors and walked out into the open together would be a spectacle, I'm sure.

We entered the school with my arm slung around her shoulders as we went to my locker first, and then hers. I leaned against the locker next to hers as I watched her concentrated face as she flipped through papers in a folder. She was beautiful. I found myself smiling, and didn't have enough time to compose myself when she looked up at me.

"What are you staring at?" She asked, amused.

My lips spread in a grin, "Probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You know, not including me, because that just isn't fair." I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Ha. Ha." She said dryly as she rolled her eyes and closed her locker, "I'm really excited for tonight."

I felt a blush spread across my face, and before I could say anything a familiar voice disrupted our moment.

"How in the hell did you manage to make Jade West blush?" Andre asked as he casually walked up to us.

"None of your business." I snapped at him, though my usual venom was completely lacking.

Andre gave us a knowing smile as he nodded, "Sure. Sure. I'm sure it's got nothing to do with the butt dial I got from Tori last night."

If I wasn't blushing before, I sure as hell was at that point.

"What did you say?" I asked as I leaned forward. Vega looked at me with apologetic eyes as she fiddled with the strap of her bag.

"My phone kind of dialed Andre while we were...uh..." She cleared her throat, obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

"Oh. Jesus Christ." I said as I dramatically dropped my arms to my sides and looked at the ceiling. "So you got your free show, Harris."

"You guys talking about the butt dial?" Robbie asked as he appeared at my side.

"What, did you call Robbie too?" I asked Vega incredulously.

"Oh no. I was with Andre." Robbie said with a smile. He nudged me slightly. Ever since that time at Vega's party, I haven't really been able to be completely vicious to the kid. He was actually my friend. And at that point, he was the only person that sought me out when I needed someone. That says a lot.

"Vega, give me your phone." I demanded as I stuck out my hand.

"What? Why?" Vega asked frantically.

"Vega. Phone. Now." I snarled, wiggling my fingers for effect.

She let out a defeated sigh and pulled her phone out of her back pocket and handed it over to me. I opened her recent call log and saw that, sure enough, she had called Andre last night. The thing that I was concerned about was the length of the call.

"Twenty minutes. Twenty fucking minutes. You two pervs listened to us having sex for twenty minutes?" I shouted, looking at both of them, furious. They both stammered a few incoherent sentences as they looked at each other for some kind of explanation before bolting off in the opposite direction.

Beck strolled up as they ran past him with a smile on his face, "You found out about the call?"

"Oh my God. Did they make an audio file and put it on the Slap?" I asked, completely beside myself and the situation.

"No, they told me about it. Look, aside from the uh...obvious perks they got from the call, they're happy for you guys. Weird things happen to friends sometimes. Look at Robbie's entire existence. It's just one awkward moment to the next. I'll bet by lunch, the whole thing will be forgotten." Beck said in a comforting matter as he playfully rubbed my shoulder.

"Yeah. It isn't that big of a deal." Vega said, and I almost forgot that she was there.

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh, "Whatever."

Halfway through the day, I was at my locker looking for my sketchpad before lunch. Subconsciously, my attention wandered over to Vega's locker. She was there, standing incredibly uncomfortably as some guy spoke to her, invading her personal space. Aside from the initial flare of jealousy I felt, something erupted inside of me as I realized who it was: Ryder Daniels. Oh fuck no. I watched as she shrugged off the hand he placed on her arm, and he took a step closer.

I slammed my locker and stormed over to them, "Hey." I barked. Ryder turned to look at me, and Vega gave me a look of appreciation.

"What do you want, Jade? Can't you see Tori and I are talking?" He asked smugly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. That's it. Nope. No way. Not putting up with that shit.

I grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him away from Vega. I gave him a shove, "Stay the hell away from my girlfriend." I growled, the words spilling out of my mouth faster than I could think.

"Christ, I didn't know." Ryder said as he caught himself from falling, straightening up his jacket and running a hand through that obnoxiously perfect hair.

"If you so much think of touching her again, I will make you regret the day you took your first breath and thank whatever higher power you believe in when you take your last." I snarled threateningly as I took a step closer to him. He put his hands up in mock surrender and sped off in the other direction.

"So. Girlfriend, huh?" Vega said. I turned hesitantly to look at her. I hadn't really thought when I saw him. I just kind of lost it. I had no clue if that's what she wanted us to be.

"I...I..." I stammered, trying to find the right words.

She smiled and used her fingers to guide my chin as she placed a sensual kiss on my lips.

"I love the sound of that." She purred.

"Good." I said with a smile as I slid my arm around her waist, leading her to lunch.

"See, everyone's going to be talking about you scaring Ryder at lunch. No one will even mention that unfortunate phone call." Vega said brightly.

"You better hope so." I grumbled, still slightly embarrassed about the situation.

I spent the rest of the day trying to decide what I was going to do for that date. It had to be amazing. And I already told her what I initially thought of doing for our first date, so that was completely out. I had to maintain some kind of unpredictability. It took a while, but as I walked out of my last class, I had the perfect idea.

I walked by Vega at her locker, calling her name as I past her by, "Hey Vega."

"Yeah?" She replied as she paused from digging through her locker to look at me.

"Pick you up at six?" I said loudly as I continued to walk backward smiling, nodding my head and tossing in a wink. I laughed as I watch her blush violently and pull her lower lip between her teeth, nodding her head.

I left school, rushing back home so I could shower and get ready for the most monumental of dates I would probably ever go on. When I was fully dressed, with my hair freshly curled and my make up finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. I gave myself a quick pep-talk in an attempt to calm my nerves, and finished by swiping the pad of my thumb against my lower lip, wiping off a little excess gloss.

The drive to the Vega household had me shaking in my boots. Quite literally. I pulled into the driveway and contemplated what my next move should be. Obviously shooting her a text saying I was here was out. So was honking my horn. I was going to do this the right way. I turned my car off, took a deep breath, and got out. It was like I had forgotten how to walk as I made my way across the driveway and to the front door.

I took one last moment to compose myself before knocking on the door. I waited for a moment, and thought that maybe she had changed her mind again. That she was over what had happened last night and that my little slip with Ryder earlier scared her off. My worry was washed away when she opened the door and gave me that radiant smile.

"You're here." She said, letting out a sigh. If I wasn't mistaken, it almost seemed like a sigh of relief.

"You're gorgeous." I blurted out. I put my hand over my mouth and blushed slightly as I shook my head and chuckled, "That just came out."

She smiled and laughed, her head tilting to the side as she appraised me, "You look pretty amazing, yourself. Come on, you gotta get the first date speech." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh dear God." I said quietly. It completely slipped my mind that her dad was a cop.

I stepped into the threshold meekly, feeling completely out of my element. Every other time I had stormed into this house like I owned the place, casting Vega's parents the most vague of hellos; and then there I was, taking their daughter on a date.

Her dad was seated at the kitchen table, and I could feel his scrutinizing gaze.

I cleared my throat, "Mr. Vega." I said, nodding to him.

"Jade." He said, his face stone cold. My pulse skyrocketed, and I had a feeling that I was running the risk of my heart pumping so fast that it stopped pushing blood and instead it would just be air, and I would pass out. How embarrassing.

"I'm going to go upstairs and grab my things." Vega said awkwardly as she bolted up the stairs. Are you serious? She just left me here with her cop father. Good God. I wasn't even going to make it out of this alive.

Just as I was anticipating him pulling out a shotgun to show me, the warmest of smiles broke that stoney face as he stood and walked over to me with an extended hand, "It's nice to formally meet you." He said.

I shook his hand, trying to give him the best handshake I had ever given, "Yes sir."

He laughed and waved me off, "Enough of that sir stuff. I've already scared you far too much."

"Yes sir." I said, nodding. There really wasn't much else I could say at that point. My heart was still racing.

"In all seriousness. You're taking my baby girl on a date." He said, that solemn tone coming back.

"Yes sir. I mean, Mr. Vega. I'll have her home before ten." I stammered, my nerves getting the best of me.

"Don't worry about that, Jade. Just take care of her, okay? If you can keep a secret, she's been waiting for this moment for a long time." He said in a hoarse whisper as he leaned forward.

"She's been...waiting for me...to ask her out?" I asked quietly as I looked at him in confusion.

"That's what it says in her diary at least." Mr. Vega said with a laugh as he shrugged.

"Dad! You read my diary?" A high pitched shriek broke the sound barrier as Vega appeared at the top of the stairs.

"No. I was talking about Trina's." He said casually, casting me a subtle wink.

"Remind me to find a new hiding place when I get home." She said to no one in particular as she made her way down the stairs and to the door, "You coming, date?" She asked playfully as she looked at me.

A smile made its way to my face as I nodded my head. I looked back at her dad, "I'll take care of her. You won't have to worry about that ever again."

He smirked and nodded, "I know that, Jade. Have fun."

I followed Vega out of the house and to my car, "So where are we going?" She asked as she climbed in.

"Still not telling you." I said in a singsong voice as I got into the driver's side and turned my car on.

Vega pouted in the passenger seat and turned on the radio.

"So...where was your mom?" I asked hesitantly.

"She left yesterday." Vega said casually as she looked out the window.

"You mean...left, left?"

She said nothing, only nodded as she kept her eyes away from me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

Vega shrugged as she finally turned to look at me, "It's nothing. Dad kicked her out. It wasn't ugly or anything. Trina told me that they were creepily civil about the whole thing."

"Tori, I'm so...I'm so sorry." I said, utterly at a loss for words.

She smiled sadly, "It isn't your fault. It's for the best. But let's not worry about it, okay? Tonight's about us."

I reached over and took her hand in mine, squeezing it gently, "Damn straight. So...what was your dad talking about in your diary? You've been waiting for me to ask you out?" I asked playfully.

"Oh God." She groaned as she dropped her head against the window, "Can we not talk about that? I can't even believe he told you." She said as I watched the blush spread from her cheeks down to her neck.

I laughed loudly, "No. Don't be like that. It's cute. You're daddy's little girl. I like it."

Before she could defend herself or deflect any further discussion of her diary, I had pulled into our destination. The parking lot next to the building was practically empty, giving a little bit more of a creep factor to the building. It was an old two-story victorian style house with boarded up windows.

"Here we are." I said as I parked my car. She looked around.

"And where is 'here,' might I ask?" Vega sounded concerned.

"Come on." I said as I got out of the car and walked over to her side, opening her door for her before she had the chance.

"I'm scared. How do I know you aren't leading me to my death?" She joked.

"You're dad's a cop. If I was going to kill you, I wouldn't have let him know that I would be the last person to see you." I laughed as I wrapped my arm around her waist. We walked up the steps and I opened the door for her.

Inside, the home had been renovated to a large cafe. The first level had a few scattered chairs, all of different styles and makes. Wooden chairs were next to huge arm chairs and comfortable looking ottomans. One whole section was the area where you would place and pick up your order. Up the stairs was a loft-style room that was full of tables and chairs much like the first level. A small stage was set up in the corner of the second floor, where currently a guy who looked to be slightly older than us was playing an acoustic guitar and singing a very relaxing melody.

"Jade, this is amazing. How did you find this place?" Vega said as she looked around the building in amazement.

"Lucky fluke." I said simply as I lead her towards the counter to order our drinks.

The barista, Roxie smiled brightly at me, "Welcome back, Jade. We've all been waiting for your next open-mic night."

I smirked slightly as I looked down in embarrassment, "I know. I'm getting there." I could feel Vega's eyes studying me.

"Fair enough. What can I get for you?" She asked.

"Ah...black coffee for me, and whatever the lady wants." I said as I nudged Vega.

"Raspberry chai tea late." Vega said, her voice soft and quiet.

Roxie nodded and rung us up, walking away as she made Tori's drink. She handed us the two steaming mugs and gave us one last warm smile.

"Let's go upstairs." I said as I nodded towards the staircase. Vega followed like a puppy, holding the hand that wasn't holding her coffee. I couldn't ignore the butterflies in my stomach at the simple action.

We took a seat in the far back corner of the room, sitting close as we leaned across the table, lost in our own conversation until the music stopped and a throat was cleared. Our attention was practically forced to the owner of the offending noise.

"This next one is for the beautiful brunette in the back." The boy said, looking right at Vega. He had short, dark hair and a lip ring, his teeth playing with the hoop as he smiled at my girlfriend.

Not this again.

My eyes glanced quickly over to where Vega sat and she looked uncomfortable as she blushed a violent red. She looked back at me and smiled, shaking her head.

"Just ignore it." She whispered. So that's exactly what we did. Our conversation kept going, and when the music ended this time, we didn't break away from our discussion of the production of Sikowitz's new play. We did, however, look away from each other when that same throat clearing noise came from somewhere much closer to us. I leaned back in my chair and looked at the guy who was standing next to our table.

"Hi." He said with a grin.

"Hello." Vega said shortly as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Could I get you another uh...whatever it is that you're having?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude but I'm really not interested." Vega said, being ever so polite. I had to commend her for that.

The guy casted a glance my way as he gave me one of those charming smiles that I'm sure worked on every other girl, "Oh, come on. You're Jade, right? I saw your last set. Give a guy a chance. My friend's coming out here soon. I'd love to introduce you to him."

I laughed as I sat up in my chair, resting my elbows on the table, "Alright, _she_ didn't want to be rude," I said as I gestured to a nervous looking Vega, "But I really don't care. You wanna know why she's not interested?" I asked, not really giving him a moment to answer, "Because throughout your entire little serenade right there, she was busy listening to me telling her all of the terrible, dirty, amazing things I'm planning on doing to her when we get out of here." I said, putting dramatic emphasis on the way I was describing what really was a G-rated conversation.

"Oh. Oh." He said, his eyes growing wide as he realized what the situation was. "Uh. Er...I'm sorry." He stammered as he gave Vega an apologetic smile. "You're both really lucky." He said bashfully before walking away with his tail between his legs.

"Are you going to do that every time a guy hits on me?" Vega asked as she leaned forward and looked at me with hard eyes.

"I couldn't stop if I wanted to." I said with a shrug.

"I can take care of myself, you know."

"Oh, I know. I just don't like all these cocky guys who think they have a chance with someone as amazing as you." I said as my shoulders sagged slightly.

She smiled, "No one has a chance with me anymore. You've raised the standard outrageously high. So if this thing doesn't work out, I'm screwed." She joked.

I smirked as I leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss. She cupped my cheek and held me close for a moment.

"Yeah. I could get use to this." She said as she sat back in her chair, looking at me dreamily.

We sat and talked for a while longer as we watched the couples, friends, and musicians that moved throughout the cafe. Before I knew it, it was eight o'clock and Roxie was walking up the stairs.

"Jade, it's closing time." Roxie said in a singsong voice.

I laughed, "Damn. It always sneaks up on me."

"I can see why this time." She said wiggling her eyebrows as she smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get outta your hair. I'll see you next time, Rox." I said as I stood and walked behind Tori as we made our way down the stairs and out of the building.

"That place was amazing, Jade. You go there a lot?"

"Yeah. Ever since I found it, that's just where I go if I got a lot on my mind." I said with a shrug.

"It's really cool." Vega said with a smile as she got in the car. I followed suit and there wasn't a single thing I could do to stop the smile on my face.

"Should I be taking you home?" I asked, really hoping she wouldn't say yes.

She let out a sigh, "I wanna say no. But it's getting late, and we do have school tomorrow."

I nodded, "Not a big deal." I said as I pulled out of the parking lot and in the direction of her house. We drove with the radio on for a while, until I couldn't hold it in any longer, "I know it isn't like the date I told you about, but I wanted to do something different."

"Jade, it was perfect." She said in a reassuring manner. She placed a warm hand on my knee and squeezed, "It was so perfectly you."

As we pulled into her driveway, I looked at her and smiled, "You know, you're pretty great."

She shrugged casually, "I was born this way." She looked at me as a quiet lull overcame us. "Well, goodnight, Jade."

"No, no. I'm walking you to your door. I'm doing this the right way." I said, shaking my head as I got out of my car and rushed over to her side, opening the door the rest of the way.

"Such a gentleman...Er, gentlewoman?" She joked as she got out of the car and lead me up to the door.

I laughed and shook my head as I followed. We stood awkwardly in front of her door, my hands clasped behind my back as I rolled on the balls of my feet.

"So..." She trailed off.

"I...I had a really great time. I'm sorry I get so protective." I said bashfully, keeping my eyes on the ground. The next thing I knew, a pair of warm lips were on mine and my heart fluttered as she kissed me gently.

"Don't apologize for who you are. It's why I fell in love with you." She said. As soon as I heard what she said, my head snapped up and I looked at her with wide eyes. Her shock matched mine, and I could tell that she hadn't meant to say what she had just said. "Oh God. I mean...Well, that's exactly what I mean, but..." She stammered as she looked off to the side.

I cupped her face and brought her in for a heated kiss to shut her up. We pulled away and she looked at me through hazy eyes with a soft smile.

"I love you, too."


End file.
